


Secret Words

by ren-mccullers (icannotthingaboutanythingthatshorrible)



Series: 4's and 1's [7]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex writes poems, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 05:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10712949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icannotthingaboutanythingthatshorrible/pseuds/ren-mccullers
Summary: The fire burns like the light in your eyesOr maybe it's me,A simple mortalFlying too close to the sunFlying too close to youor4 times Alex played secret admirer and 1 time it wasn't a secret anymore





	Secret Words

**Author's Note:**

> english is not my first language, so if you guys see any mistakes, please point them out to me :)

_ Is it just me? _

_ Or the brightness of the stars don't compare to your eyes _

_ Is it just me? _

_ Or the sun doesn't really shine as your smile _

_ Is it just me? _

_ Or the melody of songs and the singing from the birds don't compare to your laugh _

_ How could it even be? _

_ think I'm falling in love _

_ Or is it just me? _

_ - _

Alex was aware she was going to regret it as soon as she let Lucy pick the next game at Kara's birthday party two days ago. And the fact that she was now, purposefully late for a class, was just the final confirmation.

Playing secret admirer was not easy. Alex found the idea way too idiotic and straight out of those rom coms she hated so much, but since Lucy had dared her to confess her feelings to her crush at Kara's birthday, Alex didn't really have many more options.

It had been Lucy's genius idea that, of course, Alex had refused to follow. But her best friend was tired after watching Alex mope over Maggie Sawyer during the best part of freshman year and she told Alex that if she had to endure that situation for the rest of high school, she was going to get nuts.

So Lucy told her to, at least, write something anonymously and see how Maggie would react. That's how she ended up trying to sneak up a piece of paper on Maggie's locker long after the second bell had rang.

It wasn't like Alex was expecting any reaction from Maggie, the girl was more likely to think it was a prank and throw the the paper into the trash, but at least Lucy would leave Alex alone for awhile. Besides, she would never admit, but writing down the feelings she had been holding as secret for almost a year, had its therapeutic effects.

She haven't written poetry since in a long time though, and she honestly hoped she didn't sound too stupid. Afterall, it was the first time she wrote anything romantic, the first time she wrote anything  about Maggie.

 

* * *

 

 

Alex shouldn't be surprised that nothing really changed after she had left the poem in Maggie's locker.

Not that Lucy haven't rolled her eyes at her in the past few days during advanced physics because the teacher had asked Alex a question she didn't hear thanks to Maggie be sitting right in front of her. Or that her math teacher wouldn't always give a speech of how important it is to arrive at class on time since Alex had walked in 7 minutes late last week.

Still, nothing related to Maggie had changed and Alex didn't want to have any expectations and was just trying to convince herself she was just being curious, that she just wanted to know if Maggie had seen the poem, if she had read it, what could she had possible thought about it. If it really ended up in the trash or if Maggie had kept it.

It's not like Alex was the best of friends with her, thought. They barely had shared more than good mornings and excuse me’s in all the time Alex’s had known her. Maggie was also a very reserved person, she didn't really have friends and didn't seem to be looking for any, so it was nearly impossible to know what had happened to that piece of paper.

The lack of interaction, despite not helping with Alex's curiosity, would only make Maggie look more incredible in Alex's eyes, especially when Alex was able to collect little pieces of Maggie's personality here and there. She had learned that the girl loved science subjects but couldn't keep her eyes open during English literature, she would perform great during EP class but never tried to join one of the school's teams.

She had beautiful brown eyes that changed colors in the sunlight, and she really couldn't look more beautiful than when she was smiling.

Maggie could also pretty much defend herself and even with a few tries, the bullies never really got to her. That until Maxwell Lord decided she was the next soul he was going to harass. 

It had started with just a few pushes and attempts to make her trip during break, but Maggie didn't gave Max and his group any kind attention and that seemed to make him very angry. It didn't take much time for them to become more aggressive, corner her on the corridors and throw all of her stuff on the floor.

Alex wasn't one to get into fights, but she barely think twice before hitting Lord on the face and tell him to fuck off, and when all of his group wanted to start a bigger commotion, James, Lena and Lucy were quick to Alex side. The four of them weren't exactly the most popular people, but even Maxwell Lord knew that  someone from the soccer team, two people trained in hand combat and a Luthor weren't to be messed with.

The four helped Maggie gather her things from the floor, but the girl barely said a thank you and left.

There were still a few papers around the corridor, Alex picked all of them and waited another opportunity to give them back.

Said opportinity happened after class, while Alex was doing warm ups on the field to get ready for practice.

“Hey. It's Alex Danvers, right?”

Alex looked around, a bit dubious Maggie was actually talking to her despite the fact she was the only one on the field. She would mentally kick herself for that later.

“Yeah... That would be me”

Maggie got close enough that Alex could see the different shades of brown the sun would cast on her eyes.

She only forgot to pay attention on what Maggie was saying for the past 10 seconds.

“... so i just wanted to say thanks. Not everybody would have stood up for people they barely know.”

“Yeah, yeah. I mean… it's...hmm.. it's not- it's not a problem.”

Maggie smiled a little bit and nodded, Alex's breath got caught on her throat in response.

“Well, Ok. See you around then.” 

Alex stood frozen and watched her go for 3 seconds. 

“Maggie! Wait!” She would kick herself for that one too. It was weird that she already knew the girl's name or…? Maggie raised an eyebrow at her. “It's just that… hmm… you- you forgot to pick some of your stuff earlier and I… hmm… I- I got it for you” Alex reached for her backpack near the bench and gave the papers back to Maggie.

With a little “ _ oh…”  _ Maggie started to sort through the papers, most of them were notes from physics Alex was sure the girl didn't even need, but a specific one called her attention, one that she recognized the writing, one that was her poem. 

And Maggie had kept it.

Not for long though, because Alex watched as the girl rip and discarded it angrily on the closest trashcan. Maggie noticed Alex's very shocked eyes.

“Someone put a love letter in my locker as a prank. I kept it to find out who the idiot was but I guess it was probably Lord trying to piss me off”

Alex gulped. “Yeah… probably”

“Thanks again. Bye, Danvers”

Alex stood on the same place until her couch arrived and remembered her she had practice.

-

Later that night, Alex found hard to sleep with the idea that Maggie had thought her poetry was just a prank from Maxwell Lord of all people. Alex convinced herself that if it was anyone else she would have let it go, but since it was Lord, it was a matter of honor.

Besides, her Chemistry teacher was pretty cool and sure she wouldn't mind her arriving late for the first time since she knew her.

 

_ As the sun goes down tonight _

_ I wonder if you will ever believe in me _

_ As the moon gets hung up in the sky _

_ I wonder if you will ever have me in your mind _

_ And as I close my eyes and dream of you _

_ I wonder if you will ever listen to my words _

_ Of love _

 

* * *

 

After the Max Lord incident, Maggie ended up getting closer to Alex and the rest of the gang. 

She still would mind her own business most of time, but now, during lunch breaks at the cafeteria, Maggie was surrounded by a very agitated group, and would never fail to laugh at Kara always trying to get more food from the others and the fact that no one could resist her pleading eyes.

Maggie would bring an extra piece of whatever she was having, so she could give it to Kara as soon as the girl looked at her. No one but Alex noticed because Maggie would only eat her own slice on her way to the chemistry lab.

Maggie also started to ask Alex to help her with English Lit homework because “ _ they're just a bunch of men depressed because they are daydreaming about a woman they will never have since she doesn't even exist”, “it's called Romanticism, Maggie…”, “Whatever…” _

So they would meet at the blenches one hour and half before Alex's practice and after one hour of trying to make Maggie understand the characteristics of each Poetry School, Alex would start her warm ups around the field with Maggie shouting questions here and there until someone else showed up.

By the end of practice, Maggie would wait  for Alex to emerge from the lockers so she could correct the answers, and then they walked back home together.

It became their routine, that Alex perhaps would put too much energy not to break, but how could someone blame her when the shadows the sundown casted on Maggie's hair during their way back were close to perfection?

She bet even Kara would die to paint that image, even though Alex wasn't ready to share it with anyone.

Despite her best efforts, when the first game of the season came around, Alex couldn't meet Maggie after school. And it's not like Alex or Kara haven't invited her to watch the game with their friends, but without Alex around, Maggie was sure she wouldn't fit in the group at all.

That until Lucy and James showed up at her door and threw a  _ Midvale HS soccer team  _ shirt at her. It had Alex's number on the back.

“All of her friends has to show up for the first and last game. It's tradition.”. It was all the explanation Lucy gave to Maggie's aunt as she dragged Maggie out of the door.

And since her aunt didn't say much more than “ _ Come back before 9pm”.  _ It wasn't like Maggie had a choice.

During the way to the school, James and Lucy explained that, even though this was the first game, it was against Midvale's biggest rival. The one they haven't managed to win against during the whole past season. So it was a hell of an important game and Alex was going to need all of their support.

Alex's friends weren't kidding. The opponent's defense was extremely well positioned and the strikers were behind the halfway line just waiting for a counterattack.

With the experience Maggie had, thanks to all her years playing soccer in Blue Springs, she knew that pass the ball through the defense line was nearly impossible. They needed to cross the ball into the box and take advantage of their height.

Alex was on the bench and her teammates didn't seem to have any other strategy besides pass the ball. It was enough to keep the game balanced, but not enough to make Midvale HS win.

By the end of the second half, the referee gave 3 minutes of extra time, meaning there was another 7 minutes of game. That was when Alex, who played as midfielder, got to finally enter the game and on her first opportunity to touch the ball, Maggie noticed Alex knew exactly what to do.

She carried the ball along the right side, the defense, more worried about the strikers and attacking midfielders, didn't really mind her until she was close enough to the penalty area.

Maggie watched as Alex raised one hand and crossed the ball. The striker left the defense behind her and hit the ball with her head right into the net.

The crowd erupted in celebration and even Maggie got swiped into the jumping and screaming. She didn't even notice when James hugged her, mostly because she didn't actually mind.

When the game ended, the whole Midvale side of the crowd invaded the field and Maggie didn't protest when Lucy held her hand and dragged her all the way down and into Alex's direction. 

As the huge crowd surrounded the striker who scored, Alex got a hug from all of her friends and Kara. One by one they congratulated her, Maggie was the last one.

“Wow, you actually came!”. Alex said in surprise, still in a high from the game and from the fact that Maggie had just hugged her. Alex didn't even notice when Kara and Lucy took James, Winn and Lena away so she could have a more private moment with Maggie.

“Couldn't miss the big game, apparently”. Maggie smiled shilly. Alex did just the same.

“Well, now you'll have to be on as many games as you can. Guess you're my lucky charm”

Maggie raised an eyebrow. “Am I now?”

Feeling like her brain had came down from the high and  finally caught up with her mouth, Alex realized the impression of what she just said must had had. 

She was an idiot.

“No...pfff…I-I mean… not  _ my  _ lucky charm but, like, y- you know, the team's lucky charm, as in the whole team an- and not just mine, no…”

Maggie had to admit. Alex was pretty cute rambling like her brain had just short circuited, she was almost as cute as when she was explaining the whole meaning behind the poems they had to read for English Lit.

She could barely speak one sentence without moving her hands everywhere, her eyes were wide and looking right into Maggie's, and her lips, her very delicated pink lips would move trying to form words her brain hadn't caught up with yet. They got Maggie completely captivated.

Maggie put her point finger on Alex to make her stop talking, but also out of curiosity to know if Alex's lips were as soft as they seemed to be. She was very pleased to find out they were.

“No need to sweat, Danvers” Maggie whispered with her finger still on Alex's mouth and Alex stopped breathing altogether. “I know what you mean.”

Did she?

It was going to be the first thing Alex would think in the next morning while sliding another poem into Maggie's locker. 

Because right now, she couldn't think about anything else but how Maggie's lips would probably feel much warmer against hers when compared to the way Maggie's fingers did.

She didn't got to be sure, though. Because the whole team decided to choose that right moment to thank her for the incredible pass.

-

_ Nothing else matters, I say to the stars _

_ Nothing more to go by _

_ As your lips touches mine _

_ While I dream of you _

_ Tonight _

 

* * *

 

After that first game, Maggie did show up on every other game and Alex's soccer team won most of them. She also got more and more used to being around Alex's friends up to the point she realized they were actually her friends too.

Maggie and Alex got even closer and the lucky charm incident was never mentioned again. Alex thought it was for the best, even if the thought that there was a possibility that Maggie had almost kissed her in the middle of a soccer field haunted Alex more than she liked to admit.

But now they would find excuses to hang out everyday and movie marathons on weekends were mandatory. Usually, the whole group would be around, but this weekend Kara went to visit her cousin Clark and Lena cancelled as soon as she knew. Lucy and James had promised to go with Winn to a Lord of the Rings fan meeting, and Alex would have totally went with them if Maggie hasn't showed up at her practice with the biggest smile Alex had ever seen, saying she got her hands on classic horror movies.

Alex was sold on the spot.

Not that the way Maggie smiled had anything to do with it. Alex would deny, especially after Lucy started calling her  _ a gay disaster. _

Maggie showed up at Alex's in the Saturday evening, carrying no less than 7 differents DVDs.

“Whoa, how many  _ classics  _ do you have there?”

Maggie answered with a full smile, dimples and all. Alex automatic response was to smile just as much, she didn't even think about it. At this point it was involuntary.

“Do you really want to know or you're gonna stay in the way, Danvers?”

They moved to Alex's bedroom and Maggie was told to get comfortable in the bed as Alex connected her computer to the TV.

With all the lights off and a huge comforter around them, they started with Silent Hill. Alex with a huge bowl of popcorn and Maggie eating peanut.

Alex scoffed.

“What, Danvers?” 

“I will never get over the fact that you don't like popcorn.”

“It's not healthy, Alex. I don't wanna have high cholesterol before I'm 20”

“All I’m eating is manufactured corn????!”

“Yeah, buried in enough butter to bake a cake for the whole soccer team”

Alex didn't think twice before grabbing the closest cushion and hitting Maggie with it.

After the shock of being hit, Alex noticed throughout the seconds as Maggie's expression changed from indignation to mischievousness even with her eyes closed.

When Maggie opened them and moved discreetly to hold the pillow next to her, Alex should have known what would happen, but Maggie's eyes were too radiant, too distracting even in the poor light from the tv, or maybe Lucy was right about the gay disaster, because Alex only reacted when her own pillow connected with her face.

She put herself on her knees and tried to fight back with the small cushion. It wasn't really fair but  the silly and delightful reaction Alex was getting from Maggie, thanks to the impromptu pillow fight, was very worth it.

The advantage Maggie had was determinant, though. And soon enough Alex found herself laying down in bed, protecting her face with both arms, as Maggie was straddling her legs and hitting her relentlessly.

She was lucky enough that her brain didn't catch up with the whole scenario, otherwise she wouldn't be able to lift her hips, throwing Maggie out of balance and making her fall from the bed with a thud.

“Dirty move right there, Danvers”. Maggie said groaning on the floor.

Alex took a look from the edge of the bed, Maggie's long hair was disheveled and nothing less than stunning.

“Anything is worth in love and war.”

“Really?”

Maggie sat down and their faces were suddenly too close, the darkness of the room was the only thing stopping Alex from determinate what shade of brown Maggie's eyes were now. The silence, broken only by a few screams coming from the tv, was too heavy and not heavy at all, as Alex could only feel Maggie looking right at her, more than tempted to ask which one of the situations they were on right now. Alex’s wouldn’t know what to answer if Maggie asked. 

They both jumped when the lights were turned on.

“Alexandra, I'm home. Come help me with dinner when your movie is over.”

“Yes, mom”

-

After dinner, they started the Friday the 13th movies. Somewhere around 3 am Alex gave up on staying awake, Maggie, that was sitting next to her on the bed, positioned herself against the wall so Alex could lay down with her legs on Maggie's lap.

Even through the fabric of her pajamas pants, Maggie's hands drawing slow circles on her skin so casually made falling asleep nearly impossible. Especially when Maggie asked if everything was ok.

But not even Alex could stay awake the whole night, and around 4, she had already drift off.

She woke up for the first at 7 with her mother kissing her cheek and saying she was needed at the hospital, her foggy mind barely registered someone else sleeping right behind her and an arm thrown around her waist under the covers.

The second time Alex woke up she was alone, a blue note sticked on her nose. 

_ Aunt came to pick me up for church. See you later. _

_ -M _

_ Ps: You drool in your sleep, Danvers _

Even with Maggie not there, Alex wanted to kick her butt for the embarrassment. She picked up her poetry notebook, instead, and started to process the events of the previous night.

 

_ When I dream _

_ I can touch your lips even if I know is not real _

_ When I dream _

_ I can hold your hand even if you're not there _

_ When I dream _

_ The butterflies in my stomach are free _

_ Even when I know _

_ It is just a dream _

 

_ And still it doesn't compare _

_ To the way you warm my soul when you are right here _

_ Right next to me _

 

* * *

 

Maggie was surprised to find out that, after only  a couple of weeks, she felt pretty much comfortable around Alex Danvers.

The girl had some sort of calming atmosphere around her, despite her enthusiastic friends and super energetic sister she had.

And, honestly, after the hell of a year Maggie had had not so long ago, she could use some calmness. So she ends up gravitating towards Alex without much thinking.

Maggie doesn't really know how she missed Alex for a whole year before the day Max Lord decided to be an asshole and throw her stuff all around the corridor, but after that, being friends with Alex was the best decision Maggie could have made. The fact that the girl was incredibly gorgeous and apparently, openly gay ( as Maggie found out not even 2 days later after the incident with Lord), made things even easier.

After a bit more than a month, they were close friends. Not much time later they were basically inseparable. And Maggie should have known, she should have seen it coming from 300.000 miles away, but it still caught her by surprise when she noticed she had a crush on her friend.

It happened when Alex started to help her with English Lit homework and from there things only went downhill, but Maggie should know, that was the only way things ever went for her.

Because when she declared her feelings to her best friend two years ago and her parents kicked her out of home? When one year later she made her aunt move cities because Maggie was being bullied at school and no one there gave a fuck about what could happen to her? By then, she should have been used to things going wrong.

And the fact that Alex was gay and the whole school knew that Maggie was gay too after she had confronted Maxwell Lord in the middle of the cafeteria about the love poems that just kept showing up in her locker, and told him to leave her alone because she was a lesbian and had no interest. And after he had said she was crazy because he would never waste his time with such stupidness, served only to make her sure there was no way Alex didn't know about Maggie's sexuality.

Even if Alex wasn't there when everything happened.

So if Alex never did one single thing that could indicate she liked Maggie like that, was because she just wanted to be friends. And Maggie had been doing her best to respect that, but it was becoming harder and harder.

Especially when Alex did things like smile back at Maggie.

She tried. Honestly. To keep her heart in check, to hide her blush, to suppress the way she wanted to hold Alex's hand so bad. To stop thinking about how Alex's lips would feel like.

That's why she was so glad her aunt made her wake up before 8 in a Sunday once a month to go to church. Because last night Maggie had crossed some sort of line couldn't bring herself to regret.

The urge to kiss Alex in the semi dark room while they watched movies almost made Maggie decide for ruin any kind of friendship she had with the girl, but even though her aunt had already taught her to never regret the way she felt, Maggie was happy that Alex's mother had shown up before Maggie could have done anything else. 

Because the last time she tried to take a risk, it backfired to her face majestically. So she was going to try another approach, she was going to let herself, for once, feel how is like to have Alex in her arms, then she would step back and be the best friend she could be.

If her aunt wasn't waiting outside she would never get up. Alex felt perfect that close to her.

-

Maggie was on radio silence during the whole Monday, it was an attempt to keep herself away from Alex that she could have succeeded if she hasn't forgotten to take her backpack  that was at Alex's since Friday. The one with her unfinished homework she needed for the first period next morning.

She sent a quick text to Alex asking if she could drop by to take her stuff, Alex replied saying the only person at home was her mom, but she could go there and Eliza would give the backpack to her.

It could have been her luck day, after all. She had managed to avoid Alex and even if just for today, it was a progress.

Maggie knew Alex's mom was super busy, that's why she didn't bat an eye when she rang the doorbell and Eliza showed up with her things already in hand while she talked with someone on the phone.

“Wait a second.” Eliza said giving her attention to Maggie. “I just put all of your stuff inside, ok? You need anything else?”

“No, Mrs. Danvers. It's all good. Sorry for disturbing.”

Eliza waved her hand, suggesting that what Maggie had just said was a nonsense. She wished the girl good night with a smile and resumed to talk on the phone.

When Maggie got to her bedroom, she was happy to see Mrs. Danvers had put the correct notebook on her backpack, but it wasn't the only thing inside. There's was a small one there too, with a brown cover that Maggie was sure was supposed to imitate leather. It wasn't hers for sure, so she picked the notebook and opened the first page, but there was nothing but random phrases with a calligraphy she wasn't sure she has seen before.

Maggie thought it was probably Eliza's and she was going to give it back to Alex in the next morning, except, when she checked the last page to see if she could find anything about the owner of the notebook, she saw a familiar phrase.

_ Is it just me? _

_ Or the sun doesn't really shine as your smile _

Maggie stood still for whole 15 seconds, before running around her bedroom trying to find a piece of paper she had discarded somewhere.

It was inside one of her Heroes of Olympus books.

She grabbed the notebook again and compared the words. They were the same words. The same phrases.

The exactly same poem found in her locker, and now, at Alex's house.

And it's not like the thought hasn't crossed her mind, it's not like Maggie hasn't dreamed that Alex could be, wished Alex would be the one writing her love poems. Only it couldn't be Alex, because Maggie has seen the literature notes enough times to know Alex's handwriting was not like that and Alex didn't want anything more than just be friends with Maggie, anyway.

Right?

Maybe it was someone close to her, maybe someone she knew. But definitely not Alex.

Maggie looked for the others poems she had received and found them on the pages  too. Among them there were some others writings about loss, the stars and about feeling alone. She closed the notebook before she could finish reading, whoever it belonged to, it was too personal and Maggie didn't feel she had the right to read it.

She decided she would keep it, though. At least until she figured out who wrote all those things. Until she figured out, for sure, it wasn't Alex.

-

Maggie had never spent a day at the beach.

When she mentioned that, casually at their table during break, everyone looked at her like she had came from Mars. She knew that look quite well, but her friends look didn't have the perversity the ones back in Blue Springs had, so she didn't really mind the little shiver she felt.

Alex's hands quick on the small of her back maybe had something to do  with that.

But after this little revelation, Lucy Lane demanded a so called  _ Saturday beach fun  _ (Kara named it) with Maggie included. That's the the only reason Maggie was waking up at 7:30am in a weekend.

“Damn, Maggie. Are you sure your soul is in there? You look like a zombie” Alex said when Maggie arrived at the beach.

She was tempted to make a gay joke but was too tired for that. Maggie just laid down in a towel under an huge umbrella, right next to Alex, her backpack in her face to protect her eyes from the sun. She heard Alex chuckle.

“You were supposed to come here and enjoy the beach. You know that, right?”

Maggie lift the backpack just enough so she could look at Alex. “Says the nerd that brought homework here”.

Maggie swears they got lost smiling at each other for awhile.

“Maggie! Maggie! You're here! Let's play tag!”.

“Urgh… How does your sister has so much energy at this time of the morning?”. She said as she got up to go play with Kara.

“Donuts”. Alex answered still smiling.

After a whole day in the water, with James carrying Maggie on his back most of the time, Alex, Winn and Lucy decided to make a bonfire. Kara sat down on one side of Alex, making marshmallows with Lena, while Maggie sat on the other, trying to pay attention to whatever James was saying, instead of to what Alex was writing on her notebook.

“I thought you were left handed, Danvers”. Maggie said giving up on pay attention to James.

Before Alex could even look at her, Kara jumped in. “Actually, Alex can write with both hands. The most amazing part is that she has completely different handwriting depending on what hand she writes with”

Maggie spent the rest of the evening pretending this information didn't make the wheels on her head turn, or made her heart beat like crazy in her chest.

Another poem showed up on her locker on Monday.

 

_ The fire burns like the light in your eyes _

_ Or maybe it's me, _

_ A simple mortal _

_ Flying too close to the sun _

_ Flying too close to you  _

 

_ - _

The idea of Alex being the one writing her those poems was more and more concrete and driving Maggie more and more insane. She wanted to figure out, need to figure out if it was actually Alex, but the fear of taking that risk again was too overwhelming. Two years ago Maggie had felt like her love for her best friend made her lose everything. It was some sort of a curse, that took away everyone she loved.

Maggie was done feeling rejected for a lifetime. 

Besides, she was doing some good progress on staying a bit more away from Alex. She has been spending more time not exclusively with the girl, she wasn't going to throw all the effort to the wind.

But Thursday came, and there was no sign of the Danvers sisters at school. Maggie tried to call them and asked all of their friends about it, they all said it wasn't their right to tell, so she should ask the Danvers girl in the next morning, which only made Maggie more worried. Then, despite of Lucy's warnings, she took all of Kara's and Alex's homework and knocked at the Danvers door.

She saw someone looking through the living room curtains and prayed they wouldn't let her just standing there. 

Kara opened the door a few moments later, eyes red as if she had cried the whole morning. She didn't let Maggie say a word. “Alex is in her room, but I don't think she will answer to anyone”.

Maggie placed one hand on top of Kara's head affectionately and received a short, but strong hug in return.

She went upstairs and knocked at Alex's door. “Danvers, it's me. I have physics homework.”

Radio silence.

“There's even a problem Mr. Klepper said only you would probably be able to solve. I mean, I could too, but I supposed you would like the spotlight better…”

She let out a sigh “Alex, I know you're there, just tell if there's anything I can do”.

A piece of paper written  _ Go back home  _ was all she had as answer. Alex sure had  a finger for the dramatic.

Maggie didn't leave, though. She remained sat down on the floor in front of Alex's door until nighttime when she heard someone at the kitchen. It was Kara, and Maggie ordered them pizza and watched movies with her until Kara was asleep on the couch.

That was when Alex finally showed up.

“I thought I told you to go home”

Maggie didn't say a thing and Alex stepped closer, noticing her sister on Maggie's lap. She gestured to leave Kara there and follow her back to the kitchen.

“Thank you for taking care of Kara, but you should leave now”

Maggie took one step forward, hands up in surrender. “Can I touch you?” She noticed as Alex got surprised at the question, but Maggie was relieved when she nodded yes.

She took Alex's hands carefully and and looked into her eyes. There was a lot of hurt in there but not a single trace of tears. Maggie could bet Alex's had spent the whole day in her room trying to avoid crying.

And it wasn't that much hard to figure what was going on. Maggie had seen pictures of Alex's dad everywhere but hasn't seen him around, the sisters never mentioned him and his absence was clearer now than ever.

“Have you eaten today?”.  _ I'm not hungry  _ was Alex's automatic response. The answer was a no, then.

“You wanna go for a walk? We can take Kara.”

Surprisingly, Alex just nodded  _ yes  _ again. “But let Kara sleep. Mom will be at home at any moment” 

Alex sounded tired and defeated, it made Maggie's heart sink in a way she never thought she would feel again, especially for someone else. She grabbed the pizza box and left a note for Eliza.

They went to the beach and walked for awhile before Alex collapsed into the sand, Maggie sat down next to her.

After ten solid minutes Alex spoke, looking at the stars, never meeting Maggie's eyes. “My dad died at exactly one year ago. Car accident, the other driver was drunk”. At Maggie's silence she continued. “He spent almost one month in the hospital, fighting for his life, but he died in the end. My mom took months to even look at us again without crying and Kara still cries when we mention him.”

“That's why you're trying to hold everything up?”

At this, Alex sat up quickly and looked at Maggie for a long moment. Meggie never averted her eyes “How can you know me so much already?”.

The pain in Alex's expression broke Maggie's heart, but the softness and the sincerity in her words brought a tiny smile too.

She wanted nothing more than hold Alex, than be there for her, and the possibility that she could be that one special person to Alex? The one she got to open up, the one she got to feel safe with? Was the best dream Maggie could possibly muster.

“ I don't know, Danvers. I'm just being your friend”

Alex shook her head as in disbelief, the tears had started to fall.

“You're much more than just that, Maggie”.

Maggie braced herself to hold Alex when the girl threw herself at her, but Maggie ended up laying down on the sand with Alex on top of her anyway, as the girl cried out the whole pain she had kept inside.

After what felt like a good half an hour, Alex was calmer, with her head tucked on the crock of Maggie's neck.

“You know, Alex. I hope you have a good shampoo to take all that sand out of my hair”

Alex gave a tired laugh and moved to sit properly. Her eyes were red, but the pain on them had eased a bit. Maggie tried to shake the sand out of her hair as best as she could and picked up the rest of the pizza she brought and gave it to Alex, who accepted without hesitation.

“You know, pizza was his favorite food.” 

“It's a Danvers thing then?”

Maggie question made Alex smile again. This time even lighter.

“The worst part is that I managed to lose the last gift he gave me, a small brown notebook. I've been looking for weeks and still don't know where I left”

Maggie gulped and had the decency to not say anything. But she wouldn't be able to even if she wanted, because this was the last confirmation she needed and the thought that it was really Alex behind the love poems made her want to kiss the other girl right there.

But Alex still very upset and Maggie didn't think it could be a good thing to kiss her, so she decided to wait until Alex was feeling better, and then Maggie would say she liked Alex just as much.

-

Maggie had promised herself she was going to wait a full week before approaching Alex to talk about the poems, but after knowing Alex feelings for her, it was nearly impossible to contain herself.

She had given the notebook back in the next day after she learned what happened with Alex's father, Maggie put it in the Lost and Found box at school after Alex mentioned she was going to check there. 

With this, it seemed like everything Maggie felt for Alex was on overlord. Every look, every smile, every touch would make Maggie feel like her stomach was a huge butterfly house, she was blushing uncontrollably and was more than once called out for been staring too much.

If Alex hasn't realized her feelings by now, she would never do it on her own.

So, by Tuesday, when Alex and Kara were feeling much better and Alex invited Maggie to a study session, Maggie decided to give up on waiting a full week. Caution be damned.

They were sitting by Alex's desk, while Alex did her homework and explained to Maggie what Symbolism was, or at least tried to, since Maggie was paying attention only to the way Alex's lips moved and the way her expression changed in the slightly with every phrase she read.

“You're  staring. Again.”

“I know.”

Alex looked at her too fast, probably not used to Maggie’s response, since, for the past days, she would only blush and dismiss anything that could make her feelings obvious. But Maggie was done running right now.

“Why?”. Alex asked quietly after a while, and Maggie couldn’t have missed the brightness of hope on her eyes.

“Because When I dream, The butterflies in my stomach are free, Even when I know, It is just a dream.

And still it doesn't compare, To the way you warm my soul when you are right here,Right next to me.”

There was surprised and fear, and Alex got up from the chair so fast she almost tripped.

“How did you…?” Alex was blushing so hard even her neck was getting red.

She wouldn't look at Maggie,  so Maggie had to follow her till the other side if the room, heart beating fast, and with the certainty that Alex was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

“You really thought I didn't know?”. Maggie asked touching Alex's jaw softly so their eyes could meet.

“I only hoped you did”.

Maggie chuckled.“You could have just told me, you know…”

Alex moved closer and rested her forehead on Maggie's, hands around Maggie neck.

“I did.”

“I mean more directly, you poetry nerd.”

Maggie was going to close the distance between them, but Alex beat her to it. 

The kiss wasn't Maggie's first, but God, it couldn't have been more perfect. Her skin was hypersensitive and anywhere Alex touched her, a goosebump would make itself known. Alex's lips were soft and tasted like cherry, the touch of her tongue made Maggie's head spin.

They were interrupted by the sound of a picture being taken and a very smug Kara and jumped apart very flustered.

“Finally!! Now everyone own me pizza for a month!”

“Wait… What?? Kara Danvers, come right back here with this phone!” 

Alex run after her sister and Maggie was left behind laughing alone in the bedroom, still tasting cherry on her lips.

If happiness looked like that, Maggie thought she perhaps, could get used to it. Especially if kissing Alex was involved somehow.

 

* * *

 

Bonus:

“I can't believe you didn't know I was gay!” Maggie said at the cafeteria during break, after Lucy had brought up the fact that she thought they have been dating for months and not just for the past 3 days . “The whole school knows!”

“I told you I'm not interested in high school gossip.”

“It was not gossip, Alex. It was a vital information”. Lucy said throwing a discarded napkin at her.

“It's not my fault I wasn't there! It was midterms week, I was helping the teachers!” Alex tried to defend herself but only got a choir of  _ Nerd  _ from the whole table. She threw the napkin back at Lucy and Maggie kissed her cheek. It made her smile like an idiot.

“And I  _ did  _ tell you when we got home, but you were daydreaming about something and didn't even pay attention” Kara completed and Alex blushed.

It was a common occurrence now, especially after she found out Maggie liked her too, it didn't make it less embarrassing, though.

“Shut up, Kara…” Alex said and hid her face on Maggie's shoulder. Everybody laughed and even if she was the funny joke of that specific moment, she was ok.

And she suspected that if Maggie's arms remained around her like they were, she was going to be ok for a long while.

And she has never been more right.

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :3


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